Remembering our Fathers

With the popularity of this blog growing and Spain becoming a region that clearly rivals the United States of America and Germany regarding the number of downloads, I am always wondering, what can be the topic of the next story? I never saw myself as a great philosopher, even if I have been called one recently. But I feel that the best topics are those that approach the readers rather than the other way around. And I am proud to say that those stories are written from the heart and not from AI.

Many of our friends and readers from the States will be celebrating Father’s Day next Sunday on June 21st, 2026, and marking the contribution that their own fathers have made to their lives. They will send cards, messages, or emails or visit their fathers in person, or they might put flowers down on their graves in case they lost them too early in their life. But what does that day mean for many people?

As a proud father of two amazing children, I tell my kids all the time that family should come first. I understand that times have changed. Many young people find it difficult or are even afraid of connections in life and even refuse to share their phone numbers nowadays. So, for me, it has always been critical to have strong and open communication with my kids. This has helped us to get through the challenging times as well. We have each other’s backs, and while many people from other generations are hiding behind their phones, social media, or roadblocks, we communicate.

Communicating and being able to communicate is such an important skill, which helps us to get to know also younger or older people with different cultural backgrounds better. This is something that no AI can help us to do because it is about real life. And I believe learning to communicate in an interesting and exciting way starts when we meet the first people in our lives, who are our parents.

My father was an excellent farmer. He loved the farm, and he never complained about the never-ending work. And he really taught me all about hard work. When someone works on a doctoral degree or runs a project at work, then people expect that person to be intelligent. But there was a point when I had my first job in London or later on in New York, and what people really praised me for was the hard work. I got that from my father.

I am still working hard so that I can send my children to the private German school in Barcelona and make sure that they get an excellent education. But I was actually the first in our family in Germany attending college and moving to other countries such as England, the States, or Spain, and I think it was unavoidable that our paths eventually went into different directions; he didn’t understand me, and I didn’t understand him most of the time while we found ourselves living in different worlds dealing with the past and the present in different ways.

I sometimes see the fathers of friends fading away in the background at birthday parties where they show up but don’t seem significantly involved in the lives of their children and grandchildren anymore. Quite often new parents want to focus on their own children and not be bothered by their parents, who sometimes become more difficult the older they get.

But things can be done differently. I noticed, for example, that some of my colleagues in Barcelona go home every day to have lunch with their parents, and I am very impressed by that. When I was younger, I moved countries to make the most of my career and have all the fun in my private life. But the sad side of the medal is that I hadn’t seen my own father for more than 6 years before we lost him in a dramatic accident.

So, when my Catalan friends tell me that they chose to stay in Barcelona to be close to their families, then I realize how much others, including myself, have sacrificed in life, and I wonder if things could have been done differently in life. And since I will be one of those people placing flowers on the grave of my father next Sunday, there will also be a regret that we didn’t use our time together more wisely.

We cannot turn back time, but we can make the best of the here and now. I tell my kids that I love them every day. And when I am tired and my son asks me if I want to play a game with him, then I always find extra energy, which makes him happy. And even if it is not always easy, I am trying for my children to have a relationship with their grandmother, which includes attending a family reunion next Saturday. Because sometimes it might be too late suddenly.

I remember that Sunday afternoon many years ago when my father and I were riding our horses and took them to another field. I realize today that this must have meant a lot to my father, who would later tell everyone in the village how proud he was of me raising two children as a single parent in New York City. Furthermore, I never heard the three words from him, but I strongly believe that despite all the work, there was pride and joy on his side.

I want to acknowledge that there are also many bad fathers out there, and I can understand why their children don’t want to have anything to do with them anymore once they are adults. But it is important to love ourselves and to find ways to deal with the past and eventually find peace in life, which will make us happier and more loving fathers, one it is our turn to approach that chapter in life.